Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Anonymous Said...
Anonymous said...
For those of you who didn't know it, Newfoundland is a province of Canada, the ugly-assed little triangle floating off the east coast. We also have Labrador, but like the dead bodies under the stairs, we don't like to talk about it much.
So. Newfoundland. Home of Newfies, fish, outrageously bad accents, unemployement, and moose. Our main exports include enough oil to keep us going, but not enough for the US to invade us, unemployed homeless fishermen, and fish. Well, not even the fish anymore, since almost all of them are gone.
Now for the real topic. Every country has patriotic citizens. Some more than others. Some, in the case of Quebec in the 60's, have some separatist movements. But never did I dream that Newfoundland, Canada's case of genital warts that keeps leeching money, would want to separate.
Almost everwhere you go, you see people wearing Free Nfld! shirts, hats, bumper stickers, etc, or Newfoundland Liberation Army shirts, with a photo of an army of awe-inspiring greatness: about 20 some odd guys holding up fiddles, accordions, fishing rods, and the occasional hunting rifle.
Yes, I realise this is all in good fun, but remember just a year or two ago, when good ol' Danny Williams ordered the Canadian flag taken down because the federal governement wouldn't give them all the profits from the oil company. NO! No Danny, they hate us enough as it is, without you being a whiny douche bag.
Trust me, the last thing Newfounland needs is to be on its own. Canada might not even notice our disappearance, but we would be screwed like it's nobody's buisness getting screwed that badly.
"WOOHOOH! We gone done it by's!"
And so, the first few wild nights of partying would begin, and continue, and continue until every last inhabitant of this fair new country would slump, passed out, over his cousin, hoping he'd forget what had just happened.
Then, the government would step in, and new rules and regulations would be set down.
Pre-teens everywhere would rejoice as the legal drinking age, the legal driving age, skidooing, and ATVing ages would be reduced to 8.
Driving while inebriated would promptly be encouraged, with fines of up to $500 for driving while sober.
And everywhere, the pround and magnificent flag of the Democratic Republic of Newfoundland would be flown, its green, white and pink swaying in the breeze.
Yes, that's right.
Then the entire world would set up a collective cheer as Newfoundland drank, smoked, and screwed itself in a downward spiral into oblivion.
So, I say,
NO YOU POLE-SMOKING MORONS!!
Patriotism is good, but only when your country is something to be proud of. I grew up in here, and if I can find some way off this godforsaken rock, I'm out!
Be happy that you are part of a great country.
Now go shoot some moose.
May 22, 2006 10:09 PM
Taken from:
http://freenewfoundlandlabrador.blogspot.com/2006/05/without-our-past-what-does-our-future.html
For those of you who didn't know it, Newfoundland is a province of Canada, the ugly-assed little triangle floating off the east coast. We also have Labrador, but like the dead bodies under the stairs, we don't like to talk about it much.
So. Newfoundland. Home of Newfies, fish, outrageously bad accents, unemployement, and moose. Our main exports include enough oil to keep us going, but not enough for the US to invade us, unemployed homeless fishermen, and fish. Well, not even the fish anymore, since almost all of them are gone.
Now for the real topic. Every country has patriotic citizens. Some more than others. Some, in the case of Quebec in the 60's, have some separatist movements. But never did I dream that Newfoundland, Canada's case of genital warts that keeps leeching money, would want to separate.
Almost everwhere you go, you see people wearing Free Nfld! shirts, hats, bumper stickers, etc, or Newfoundland Liberation Army shirts, with a photo of an army of awe-inspiring greatness: about 20 some odd guys holding up fiddles, accordions, fishing rods, and the occasional hunting rifle.
Yes, I realise this is all in good fun, but remember just a year or two ago, when good ol' Danny Williams ordered the Canadian flag taken down because the federal governement wouldn't give them all the profits from the oil company. NO! No Danny, they hate us enough as it is, without you being a whiny douche bag.
Trust me, the last thing Newfounland needs is to be on its own. Canada might not even notice our disappearance, but we would be screwed like it's nobody's buisness getting screwed that badly.
"WOOHOOH! We gone done it by's!"
And so, the first few wild nights of partying would begin, and continue, and continue until every last inhabitant of this fair new country would slump, passed out, over his cousin, hoping he'd forget what had just happened.
Then, the government would step in, and new rules and regulations would be set down.
Pre-teens everywhere would rejoice as the legal drinking age, the legal driving age, skidooing, and ATVing ages would be reduced to 8.
Driving while inebriated would promptly be encouraged, with fines of up to $500 for driving while sober.
And everywhere, the pround and magnificent flag of the Democratic Republic of Newfoundland would be flown, its green, white and pink swaying in the breeze.
Yes, that's right.
Then the entire world would set up a collective cheer as Newfoundland drank, smoked, and screwed itself in a downward spiral into oblivion.
So, I say,
NO YOU POLE-SMOKING MORONS!!
Patriotism is good, but only when your country is something to be proud of. I grew up in here, and if I can find some way off this godforsaken rock, I'm out!
Be happy that you are part of a great country.
Now go shoot some moose.
May 22, 2006 10:09 PM
Taken from:
http://freenewfoundlandlabrador.blogspot.com/2006/05/without-our-past-what-does-our-future.html
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